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I once asked a friend of my father’s what he was like
before his accident and was reliably informed there
was very little difference. A good man then, a good
man now – and with a truly great woman keeping the
show on the road regardless. It was what we used to
call in the army a ‘two-man lift’, and would have been
no mean feat over the decades.
All in all, there is a disappointing dearth of dirt
to dish on my father. This lack of discernible grit in
the oyster was perhaps best articulated by Anthony
Fanshawe, polo manager at Guards, who wrote, after
my father’s passing, to say: ‘Mark had to be about the
only person in the world about whom I never heard
anyone say anything bad. That’s incredible (bordering
on strange!) but it’s absolutely right. Without fail, he
always cheered one up. And we all know how generous
and fair he was to so many people. He epitomised what
a real gentleman should be.’
Sir David Steel, one of Dad’s oldest friends, described
him as a ‘modest, well-mannered, mild-tempered,
generous and courteous man who set an example to
all of us in his determination to enjoy life, bring pleasure
to his friends and avoid regrets’ and ‘whose wheelchair
was invisible.’ He concluded: ‘Let us humbly express
thanks for knowing such a good man.’
These words were manifested in the service of
thanksgiving held at Cirencester church, which was full
to the brim in every way. It was not lost on my father
that his influence was appreciated by different people in
different ways, but he would have been astonished at the
collective goodwill demonstrated by so many people from
all walks (and wheels) of his life. He would also have been
tremendously heartened by the knowledge that his wife
Rose and brother Sam – his two great constants – were
consoled and supported in this fine and fitting way.
Dad always said about polo that ‘the trick is to play
with people you like, because it makes winning, and
especially losing, a lot more fun’. I think we’d all agree
that, both literally and metaphorically speaking, that
was one trick he pulled off with aplomb.
